One year ago....three hundred and sixty-five days, exactly, I was in Koh Chang, Thailand. I was surrounded by the most amazing blue sky that seemed to disappear into the warm Pacific ocean. I was awed by uncountable shades of green. I ate the freshest, sweetest pineapple that I had ever tasted. I laid, everyday, in a hammock, reading a Dalai Lama book and counting my blessings. I was accompanied by some of the most intelligent, inspiring, interesting people that I have ever known. I was content that when I e-mailed home there would be a plethora of people who
e-mailed me back and told me how much they loved me and how much they missed me. My life could not have been more fantastic....

And today, the Pacific ocean is not outside my front door, and the shades of green here are covered with a thick smog. The Dalai Lama's book has been read so many times, in the hope that I can learn his secret to happiness, that the pages are falling out. Pineapple doesn't seem to taste as sweet.

I still can't figure out how things changed so much in the last year, without really changing. I can't figure out why I have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I am healthy, I am loved, I am free to do what I choose.... today I choose to start re-counting my blessings.

Posted by Kate at 12:03 PM |

I woke before my alarm went off today. I did not reset it for a later time. I did not go back to sleep. I did not want to call in sick, as I have contemplated doing almost every other Saturday. Instead, I laid in the warm rays of sun streaming in my window. I laid there and let thoughts run, like a river, through my head. I felt happy this morning, and it scared me when I realized how long it had been since I felt that, since I felt okay about life. I've missed that.

Posted by Kate at 9:26 AM |

I used to be so good at this whole blogging thing. I used to have something to say all the time... and now I don't. I know that most people think that being in a foreign country is a daily adventure, but the truth is.... I go about my day, like you most likely go about yours. I wake up, I eat breakfast, I go to work , I fill my spare time with things that I like to do.

These days, those things include reading a ton of books, watching the NBA playoffs (although the commentating in Mandarin leaves much to be desired) and studying Mandarin. Normally, I would include shopping for shoes in this, but since I am broke, I can't really justify buying these super cute red reebok's that I just happened to come across yesterday.

Anyway, that's what I do.....and you can see why that might not provide me with much inspiration for writing. It's not that I am super miserable, because I am not... I just find myself a little bored....and I guess a little lonely. I miss having "friends" around....not just people who you happen to hang out with because you happen to be in the same predicament (*read...."in the same country with no one else who speaks your language).

Aaaahhhh...I got off topic....the point was that I didn't have anything to write about this week and so, I didn't. And to tell the truth, I don't have anything to write about today, but I did anyway....and you had to read my ramblings. I apologize.

Posted by Kate at 4:39 AM |

I woke up this morning to the glowing sun and a cool breeze wafting in through my window. I had a cup of coffee....read the paper....did the crossword.....got frustrated and put it away. Had a hot shower, put on my favorite vanilla body lotion and went to start my day.

Then I realized I lost my passport. Gone. Nowhere to be found. Panic started to set in. I have no passport. I am in a foreign country. I have no visa to be here. SHIT.

Logic kicked back in and I made my way to Taipei. Reported the passport lost, went to the Canadian Embassy, filled out the about 20 pages of the exact same information and went to get the money to pay for my new passport. Things are looking up at this point.

My bank card doesn't work. Next bank. Still no luck. Next bank. Still nothing....I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I call Royal Bank long distance. Oh....apparently when you don't pay your VISA bill....the bank just helps itself to the money. SHIT.

So, now I have no money....no passport....no visa...or VISA....and I am in a pisspoor mood. The day started so well.....and here it is eight o'clock at night and I just want it to be over. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

Posted by Kate at 7:20 AM |

I am exhausted...both mentally and physically today. It was an alright day though and before I let my mind wander to unhappy thoughts and uncertainties... I will just say that I hope you had a great day and spare you my ramblings.

Posted by Kate at 10:13 AM |

It has finally quit raining, and I don't think that it's a coincidence that today is the first day I don't want to cry. Being here, again, after so many months and so many life changing things is not easy. I still can't decide if I am going to be able to stick it out or not, but until I do decide, I am here.

The sun is shining brightly, and for the first time in about eight months, my feet are in flipflops. Aaahhh, flipflops and sun. I don't have to work today, so I have spent some time reading, writing, doodling...just hanging out with myself. Sometimes I crave that, even though I am lonely. Is that strange?

The best part about today though, was finding a place to live. I have been staying with a friend for the last three weeks, sleeping on a floor and living out of my suitcase. Not so much fun. It is hard to share a space with someone you are so different from and even harder when your head isn't really in a good space itself.

Anyway, my apartment....It's big (by Taiwanese standards) and it has lots of windows. Only one other person lives on my floor (maybe because it's the sixth and there is no elevator) and we share a humungous balcony that catches the afternoon sun. I can see many a morning coffee out there. There is cable included and I am invisioning my hammock from Thailand hanging perfectly in one corner. I don't think I realized how badly I need to have a place that is my home. I have been travelling and moving and living out of suitcases for a long time now. It might be nice to be settled for a while...even if it is in Taiwan.

Sigh.

Posted by Kate at 2:57 AM |

I know, I know... it has been forever...but a thousand things in my life have changed and I couldn't even begin to tell you all of them. Let me just say that I am back in Taiwan after an extended stay in Toronto. I just arrived three weeks ago, but it feels like I have been here for three years. Sad to say, but everything seems to have lost its wonder. I am no longer amazed at the every-day goings on here. I have an agenda this time, and that is way less fun. Anyway, I seem to have lost the knack for this blogging thing, but hopefully it'll come back real soon.

Posted by Kate at 12:25 PM |