I feel like I have so much to say, but I can think of nothing to write. And so, for today, I will spare you the ramblings.

Posted by Kate at 4:19 PM |

There is a man who has a small monkey in his jacket. The monkey looks terrified and I wonder what it is afraid of.

There is a gorgeous woman, dressed to kill. I wonder where she is going.

There are the teenage girls who giggle and laugh together, and I wonder what is so funny.

The girl who sits a few chairs away, alone. I wonder why she isn't laughing.

The boy with his headphones on and his eyes closed. I wonder what he is listening to, what he is dreaming about.

There is a boy writing in his journal, and I wonder what he is writing about.

The man who is staring out the window and I wonder what he is wishing for.

There is the mother who is screaming at her child to be quiet, which is only making him scream more. Across from them is the mother who is laughing with her child, which is only making her laugh more. I wonder how they've chosen to be the kind of mothers they are.

There is the old couple who look at each other like they just fell in love yesterday, and the young couple that look like they are headed for divorce tomorrow. I wonder why.

There is a woman with a thousand wrinkles and I wonder what her life has been like.

There is the baby with smooth, flawless skin and I wonder what her life will be like.

And then I see them. One by one I see them all see me, and I wonder what they are wondering.

I wonder.

Posted by Kate at 2:33 PM |

I am in Hsinchu, a small city three train stops away from my town. There, in the middle of the city is my haven. I sit on the edge of the creek, about a meter above the water. The water is still, there is no wind today, only heat, and a thick humidity. The kind you can't get rid of no matter how much water you drink. I see a turtle, but he disappears as quickly as he came. There are millions of water bugs floating on the clear water, and I can see that the creek is not deep. The fish dart in and out of the few rocks that lay on the bottom. A child races across the coblestone bridge, eyes wide and a smile even wider. There is a joy to children's laughter, even to me, who has only recently learned to love kids. I look back to the water, and see what can only be described as small crabs. I'm not sure what they are, but they have taken away the temptation to stick my bare toes in the water. The sun is beating on my back, and I know that soon, I will be burnt. But it's nice...it's the first time this year that I've just sat.

Sitting here, in the sun, by the water reminds me of so many things. It makes me think of summers at the beach, paddling our rubber dingy down the river in Inverhuron, being chased by dragonflies. It makes me think of canoeing with my sister, of people watching with J. It makes me think of barbeques in back yards, Of luches on patios, of fishing with my dad. Of a time at a cottage.... when he sat on the dock, and I tied the tube to it, and just floated. It was hot, we had drinks, snacks, and laughter. Being here makes me think of home, even though there is nothing at home like this.

I have been here for hours... I should go , but I don't want to leave this spot. I want to just breathe. To feel like each part of me is in tune with the others. To soak up everything around me. The conversations I can't understand, the street vendor smells, the masses of people, the air. I try not to think of all the things I "should" be doing, because I know that this is just as important as going to the bank, or the post office, or doing laundry. It is more important. This is what makes me happy.

Days like this make me want to have someone here to share them with, to be able to say. "oh my God, did you see that?" To not have to explain what I did. To just have someone to say, "hey, remember the day by the river?" and they'd know exactly what I was talking about, and we'd smile, because it was such a great day. And as I say that I realize I am glad that I have my own memories and my own experiences that I don't have to share. That this is exactly what I set out for. To create my own life. To be in charge of my own happiness. To know that if things are good, it's because of me.

And things are good.

Posted by Kate at 12:23 PM |

Today was, perhaps, the most boring day ever for me. I should have gotten up to do a million things, but I didn't. Well, I did get up and tried to get ahold of Andrea, who is never around when I have a million things to chat about! Damn you woman! And then somehow I ended up back in bed and asleep. I just couldn't make myself wake up again. Thank God this is my day of only 3 hours of work. I know... I know....how can I possibly be tired when I only work 25 hours a week? The answer escapes me, but it does happen. Anyway, now its eleven at night and I'm wide awake. Sleeping all day was maybe not the best idea. Oops.

So, because I have nothing recently exciting to tell you, I thought I'd share an old story. Bernadette Olive already knows this one, but it's a favorite of mine, so here goes.

You know how in Western countries we count to ten using both hands? Well, they don't do it like that here. One to five is the same, but then six is your thumb and pinky, seven is your thumb and pointer finger, eight is your middle, ring and baby fingers, nine is your pointer finger curled down (as if spraying a perfume bottle) and ten is your left pointer and right pointer fingers crossed to make a "+" (that is what the Chinese character for 10 is).

So, when I first arrived I was unaware of this cultural difference, nor could I speak any Mandarin, so shopping was a huge pain in the ass. Even a simple trip to the market to buy fruit was an adventure. (And not the good kind, like driving to Buffalo for dinner for no reason other than to do something fun. Remember Chantal?) Anyway, one day I'm at the market buying guavas (my favorite) and it comes to seventy dollars. That's about $3.25 Canadian. But because I don't speak the language, I'm having a hard time figuring out how much change I should give the woman. So, to help me, she starts using her fingers to show me "7". Again, I have no idea what's going on.

Now...make the seven with your hand....it's your thumb and pointer finger in the shape of an "L". Yeah...where I come from that's a little sign for "loser". So, she is flashing this sign at me, and yelling something incoherent. She's not yelling because she's mad, she's just yelling because she figures that her speaking louder will help me understand. It SO doesn't....I'm only getting more and more frustrated thinking that she is being rude to me and calling me a loser for not being able to figure out how much the damn guavas cost.

I left with no guavas that day and went home and studied my numbers.
I'm happy to report that I am fluent in numbers from one to one hundred. I should probably go back and thank that woman for inspiring me to study.

Posted by Kate at 10:02 AM |

I'm gonna take out that damn guest book..."a reader of yours" please....give me a break!

So, today I woke up to have every single muscle in my body aching. What the hell?! I feel like I was in a car wreck, and the only explaination I can come up with is having had to carry all those dishes. How pathetic is that? My co-workers suggested I join their mother (who is probably late sixties) for Tai-chi. Good thought, and was going to until they said she goes every morning at 5:30!! HA! I don't think so. This girl doesn't get out of bed even close to that early... not for anything. I'm SO not a morning person.

I did find out some news today...let me share with you.

My favorite teacher from high school was just fired and is under investigation for having an affair with a student. Now, I know that most will think that it's awful and he rightly deserves any punishment handed down...but I can't get there. Maybe because I don't know all the facts, and never will. Here's what I do know. It happened about eight years ago, and it wasn't a rape or an assault, but an affair. And yes, the girl was under 18 so that makes it wrong, but how much under 18, I don't know. I do remember high school and I remember what went on and if we're talking about a 17 year-old...I'm not sure I can feel that bad about it. Like I said....I don't know all the facts, and that is making it hard to come up with an opinion. I suppose I don't really need to have one, but he was such an amazing teacher. And part of me feels guilty for not immediately thinking that he is wrong to have an affair with a student. But, it doesn't make him any less of a good teacher, and it doesn't change the influence he had on my life...does it?.

Opinions? I'd love to hear 'em.

A quick note to the Doctor who got hassled into an extra compliment. Thanks...just wanted you to know that I was happy with "kind of".

I'm off to rest my weary body. Ouch. Where the hell is a spa when you need one? I need a massage!

Posted by Kate at 12:31 PM |

Wouldn't you know it... I just got caught in another thunderstorm, and without my umbrella too. Good thing it is one of those big fat raindrop, still warm air, no wind kind of thunderstorms. I don't really mind them. They actually make me think of my Grandma, who used to sleep in the backporch with a tin roof when it rained. She loved the sound of the drops on the tin.

Today was another good day. Hot as hell, but it was nice to be outside for it. I went to Yingge. It's a small town about midway from me to Taipei. It is the ceramics center of Taiwan. There is one long road there that is completely closed off to traffic (a rarity in this country) and it's cobblestone. Of course on the weekend it is packed with shoppers but I think that's all part of the experience. They have amazing stuff. It is classic Chinese too.....the big huge vases that I can't imagine ever having in my house. Like I've said before, I'm not co-ordinated, and knowing me, I'd just get it in the house, only to stumble and send it crashing to a million pieces. They have dishes and great tea sets and planters and oh my, so many goodies. It's all made right there in the town... you can even go into the museum and make your own pieces. It was tempting, but I didn't.

I did buy lots of stuff...some for me, some for others. Wait till you see the amazing sushi plates I bought. Oh my god, they are amazing, and they only cost two Canadian dollars each. For that price, I couldn't afford NOT to have them. The only trouble came when I was leaving, and I thought, "Kate, you are such an idiot. You just went and bought fifty pounds of dishes and you have a good mile and a half hike back to the train station." Stupid...stupid...stupid.

You know when you hang on to something for too long, and your hand cramps up like that? Yeah, that was me today. Not to mention, I just realized that at some point, I need to get all this stuff back to Canada. Great....good thinking, Kate!!

Anyway, after returning from shopping, and a quick shower to refresh, I went and met a friend for a movie. We had a quick drink while killing time... bought at 7-11 and drank on the sidewalk bench. No one even looks twice....and it sure as hell beats paying ridiculous prices and sitting in a smoky pub. And then the movie..... on a recommendation, we went to see "Bringing down the house." I'm a little at a loss for words here....yes, it was ridiculous, yes, it was stereotypical, yes, it was racist (for both black and white) and yes, I did laugh out loud a few times. I guess the trick is to take it for exactly what it is....a ridiculous, stereotypical movie.

Movie aside, it was nice to sit in an air-conditioned theatre with good-company. It's a better way to spend Sunday night than thinking about how much I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I always feel like this Sunday nights, but next thing I know, it's Thursday night, and I only have one day left. It took so long for me to get into the swing of things here...and I can actually remember hitting the three month mark, and thinking to myself that I would never make it....but here I am. And it's one thing to have just stuck it out, but I don't feel like I am doing that anymore... I really love it here. I really love my life...everything about it. And I love that I worked hard enough to make that happen. It's a nice feeling to have.

Until tomorrow.....

Posted by Kate at 11:43 AM |